ME; UPDATE

Its strange on me, while am having a bit time to search my blog after years....hahaha A bit hard to coming in, since its just a flash back moment when i started this. Well, today am still the same person..with all my weakness as one of HIS creature; can not deny it easily. I wish you are out there the same thing; good on everything and always be blessed. Thank you for today, i feel so good. Like someone said,"When today becomes a history, someday when you look back and you'll be amazed at how mighty a love is. It shed your tears but not your hearts. Its hurts your feelings but not your confidence to it. It cost you sleepless nights, but not your faith to it." " when you are fully trust someone with no doubts;there would two lessons of life; whether a person for life or a lesson for Life "

Moshimo negai ga kanau nara
Toiki wo shiroi bara ni kaete
Aenai hi ni wa heyajuu ni kazarimashou
Anata wo omoinagara

Darling, I want you aitakute
Tokimeku koi ni kakedashi sou na no
Maigo no you ni tachisukumu
Watashi wo sugu ni todoketakute

Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa
I'm just woman
Fall in love

If my wishes can be true
Will you change my sighs
To roses, whiter roses
Decorate them for you
Thinkin' 'bout you every night
And find out where I am
I am not
Livin' in your heart

Darling, I need you dou shite mo
Kuchi ni dasenai negai ga aru no yo
Doyou no yoru to nichiyou no
Anata ga itsumo hoshii kara

Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa
I'm just woman
Fall in love

Darling, you love me ima sugu ni
Anata no koe ga kikitaku naru no yo
Riyote de hoho wo osaete mo
Tohou ni kureru yoru ga kirai

Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa
I'm just a woman
Fall in love

Don't you remember
When you were here
Without a thinking
We were caught in fire
I've got a love song
But where it goes
Three loving hearts are
Pullin' apart of one

Can't stop you, can't hold you, can't wait no more
I'm just woman
Fall in love
I'm just woman
Fall in love

(this is the song I sang decades ago; where all started on my interest of countries abroad. Through this song, I know how Fuji's coolest place was...the beauty of sakura..create me today)

I dont know

It's been a while...quite a while since the last dot I put on.
I was so mad when I saw the papers and standing pens I got.
I buried myself to it, tried to get out from the madness and ....
now I just cant help myself not to do it.

Gosh, what shall I do to myself now?
The burden shall be shared..but where...whose...
the right ones...hardly to reach out more ...
put me in confusion, deeply regret to me...

I wish I can scream....brake the wave with my voice...then echo to the blue down the sea...for the mermaid singing on me....with all my agony.....

UNTIL I FIND YOU AGAIN

The Eve....(1)

Never thought it will appear on my mind...the two words.....whereas I put a distance to think, to see or even to remember....RUDE!!..that's what people said to me. Am I???
The deepest ones says...YES...it's Rude and forbidden..OMG!
I miss a lot,..yes...but I guess my ego had on me too much...and I know that's very unwise.

I struggled for the last week of the year; just to try to think clearer and wiser of what shall I do next....

Don't look back...left everything behind..let's start a new page now.
I took a really deep down breath...to realize and stay conscious to get ready for this.
Honestly to admit, it is not an easy thing to do nor to decide. And hate to say that it has still put me on a big worse situation ever.
I have to eat my ego for its....and I must.

I pray time to time for able to be hold on and stick on my feet...I got to.
I luv him for being there to support me, be patient on type of me..hehehe...as always..he is very wise to handle this.
Slow down ma, no rush..you have to control your emotion...forgetting the past doesn't mean that you don't learn from its...still. (I like each time he said so..)