My 52 weeks
I looked at my watch; it was 6.45am, I took another minute to sit before I start my ride. It will be the last day of my 52 weeks passed. I turned my memory back to think and sort for everything has gone and still been on progress on my lifetime.
Many things had happened and still be on my life path till this second. Happiness, glory, and joy I could have to feel and to remembered with all the gray lines in between where just made me wiser and stronger.
The work, family, friends and all the supports I got from; put me in a really meaning of myself now.
The ONE I will never to refuse or reject for giving me all these during the weeks, taking me care when I was down and cornered, wrapping me with everlasting love.
52 weeks, 363days and 8,723 hours when I wrote this; I am blessed to be able to know that I passed it well. My gratitude for you to take a part on my life journey; a few thing I could share and say as the words so limited.
This site was built to discover my own story and share what I have had. Nevertheless many things can not be described well easily onto short story either a poem. Yet,It becomes my diary of whole experiences and moments of my life.
Oh boy, it was almost eight ..... need to rush or I will be late for office.
" Happy Holiday Season and will keep you as well as the time ticks on......."
Many things had happened and still be on my life path till this second. Happiness, glory, and joy I could have to feel and to remembered with all the gray lines in between where just made me wiser and stronger.
The work, family, friends and all the supports I got from; put me in a really meaning of myself now.
The ONE I will never to refuse or reject for giving me all these during the weeks, taking me care when I was down and cornered, wrapping me with everlasting love.
52 weeks, 363days and 8,723 hours when I wrote this; I am blessed to be able to know that I passed it well. My gratitude for you to take a part on my life journey; a few thing I could share and say as the words so limited.
This site was built to discover my own story and share what I have had. Nevertheless many things can not be described well easily onto short story either a poem. Yet,It becomes my diary of whole experiences and moments of my life.
Oh boy, it was almost eight ..... need to rush or I will be late for office.
" Happy Holiday Season and will keep you as well as the time ticks on......."
It
i listen to low tide
hoping to hear your breath
but its softens drowns
in the warning cry of a starboar buoy
learching on the bars of waves
strecheted across the sound
it breaks damp white hem
pillowed by the rocks
echoes the whisper of my voice
saying your name....
It refreshed again today, the writing I made months ago...wonder how could that be?
and lead me to add more...
if there could be a fog or mist
it could be night or I'll be darkly dressed
by a falling leaves, merged of restless shadow
...to gone..
A space for hollow
owned walls swallowed up
with an ashen song to sing
in deafness
it all at sea,cold and clearly to see
thorugh rise and tides
deep as the depth of forever
....ditto.....
hoping to hear your breath
but its softens drowns
in the warning cry of a starboar buoy
learching on the bars of waves
strecheted across the sound
it breaks damp white hem
pillowed by the rocks
echoes the whisper of my voice
saying your name....
It refreshed again today, the writing I made months ago...wonder how could that be?
and lead me to add more...
if there could be a fog or mist
it could be night or I'll be darkly dressed
by a falling leaves, merged of restless shadow
...to gone..
A space for hollow
owned walls swallowed up
with an ashen song to sing
in deafness
it all at sea,cold and clearly to see
thorugh rise and tides
deep as the depth of forever
....ditto.....
AM BLESSED.....
Blessed; the word I will use to describe how am I now. Nothing compare its, He made me till this way, through the family and life I passed.
I was born in a huge family member in our tradition. My ancient has long lists of names, so does my Dad and Mom. Was a struggling way to get the lists mentioned from Dad; as matter the daughter who asked for. A bit strange admitted, as usual the sons who will curious to know about. I get used to know that sometimes I feel masculin is taking more part of myself, yet I feel the feminine still covering in.
Banyan tree; the first icon appeared suddenly. It has so many tendrils and branches of leaves with so many spiralling down. It is a huge and great tree as it is not only covered the surrounded area from sun or rain, but also a wisdom of earth I may say to have it. My family tree could be like it, more or less still in figure out.
No wonder I have the male gen on mine lots as along the lists I followed, a few member of female existed; not more than 5! What a male dominan on here.
The way I know how the ancients and till the step I am standing now; I have to say (again)...am Blessed! With the diversity, coarses of differences of lifestyle and faith, priceless to know how unique of family I came from.
The great ancient of my mom was a huge kingdom which make me as a 'hidden princess' and the one from Dad was a long lists of heroic and dogmatism with a typical stubborn style. Guess I know where did I got mine now.
My dream to have this 'tree' to be one of the treasures of my life which I could turn it over to the next generations. Never wrong to know the past in order to fix the mistakes made or improve more for the next living. Many things I learnt from the beginning I knew as the 'hidden princess' till the stoic I got now.
Thank to you whom taught me how to dream and hug them to make it happened...Unexpected and beautifully life YOU touched on me now.....
I was born in a huge family member in our tradition. My ancient has long lists of names, so does my Dad and Mom. Was a struggling way to get the lists mentioned from Dad; as matter the daughter who asked for. A bit strange admitted, as usual the sons who will curious to know about. I get used to know that sometimes I feel masculin is taking more part of myself, yet I feel the feminine still covering in.
Banyan tree; the first icon appeared suddenly. It has so many tendrils and branches of leaves with so many spiralling down. It is a huge and great tree as it is not only covered the surrounded area from sun or rain, but also a wisdom of earth I may say to have it. My family tree could be like it, more or less still in figure out.
No wonder I have the male gen on mine lots as along the lists I followed, a few member of female existed; not more than 5! What a male dominan on here.
The way I know how the ancients and till the step I am standing now; I have to say (again)...am Blessed! With the diversity, coarses of differences of lifestyle and faith, priceless to know how unique of family I came from.
The great ancient of my mom was a huge kingdom which make me as a 'hidden princess' and the one from Dad was a long lists of heroic and dogmatism with a typical stubborn style. Guess I know where did I got mine now.
My dream to have this 'tree' to be one of the treasures of my life which I could turn it over to the next generations. Never wrong to know the past in order to fix the mistakes made or improve more for the next living. Many things I learnt from the beginning I knew as the 'hidden princess' till the stoic I got now.
Thank to you whom taught me how to dream and hug them to make it happened...Unexpected and beautifully life YOU touched on me now.....
My Opinion
“Don’t walk in front of me, I might not follow well”
“Don’t walk behind me; as I may not lead”
“Walk beside me, and just be my friend”
A friendship is one of the main things that make life worthwhile. When you have a friend to confide in, suffering will more bearable and fun or pleasure would be more intense. Everything is much better when you have friend to share with.
And don’t deny that we are expecting for a friendship to make us feel better, good in a way of all the life time; yet we forget to know that it could invites complication. Whereas one has to balance of the feeling of affection felt for another against the hardship to your life.
What is a true friend is? If I may copy one of the result made from scientists; it will need “fun factor” to make it never last. Fun is a difficult word to define, yet we will know when we are having it.
A difficult thing to predict, still some friends whom we have with in almost every time we can get together.
What is the real and fake friend? You will never know till you find it out by yourself.
A true friend will say of what they thinks even it will make their friend upset to hear, and a true friend doesn’t leave just because afraid to be with or even true friend recognizes the value of their friendship and holds it sacred. Life could be very complicated and if you have a wise friend, he/she will able to give you a little but truly a valuable asset of point of view. When you do have it, treasure them for they can be guiding you through the rough waters.
And forever is very long time as we can’t talk for something we don’t even knows how to wrap something inside of our mind. For sometimes we feel we have a friend whose souls are quietly closed connected, for above the time and space. For wherever we have our lives we will always remain to it. That’s I called forever.
God is truly the best friend, none like HIM. None loves like He does, none cares like He; with all the patient and true, He waits with an open arms.
“Don’t walk behind me; as I may not lead”
“Walk beside me, and just be my friend”
A friendship is one of the main things that make life worthwhile. When you have a friend to confide in, suffering will more bearable and fun or pleasure would be more intense. Everything is much better when you have friend to share with.
And don’t deny that we are expecting for a friendship to make us feel better, good in a way of all the life time; yet we forget to know that it could invites complication. Whereas one has to balance of the feeling of affection felt for another against the hardship to your life.
What is a true friend is? If I may copy one of the result made from scientists; it will need “fun factor” to make it never last. Fun is a difficult word to define, yet we will know when we are having it.
A difficult thing to predict, still some friends whom we have with in almost every time we can get together.
What is the real and fake friend? You will never know till you find it out by yourself.
A true friend will say of what they thinks even it will make their friend upset to hear, and a true friend doesn’t leave just because afraid to be with or even true friend recognizes the value of their friendship and holds it sacred. Life could be very complicated and if you have a wise friend, he/she will able to give you a little but truly a valuable asset of point of view. When you do have it, treasure them for they can be guiding you through the rough waters.
And forever is very long time as we can’t talk for something we don’t even knows how to wrap something inside of our mind. For sometimes we feel we have a friend whose souls are quietly closed connected, for above the time and space. For wherever we have our lives we will always remain to it. That’s I called forever.
God is truly the best friend, none like HIM. None loves like He does, none cares like He; with all the patient and true, He waits with an open arms.
My Fairy Tale
Dew,
I never planned to be this far. I never expected to get involved this deep, and I never have an idea at all to be able to had you.
As a human being I would do my best to be look good and nice for my life, yet I can't ignore that my feeling will took me over sometimes.
My life was really tough in word of its meant. I was built for and I am ready for the most hard ones even sometimes I am too naive to admit it myself. I am proud to be myself, with all the things on me. Including of what I have deal with it through of my life journey. I sad and happy, none will realize which one is my real identity as I can hide it well. And I get used for it years already
Like a fairy tale, that why this place built for;
as once upon a time something happened on me,it was the sweetest thing that it could ever be..
a fantasy of a dream come true, was the day when I found you.
Person who made me smile with no reason, and whom I can't hide myself.
Like the morning Dew, I appreciated and feel the grace of each breathe I could have now.
I just could be myself during the time, the moment that unforgettable and the distance failed to stop it. I even cried couple of times too...like now.
We had a fun times, tricky ways to say, and tears.
It is a fairy tale I had, and even it was only a tale to tell
I never get bored to remember it or even to write it down on my diary like the way I tell you now. It has changed my life, my everything..in a good way....
It has scratched me nicely .... like the marble.....
Thank you for coming to my life, and thank you for making me this feel...
I bend down to say with all my heart.....
My gratitude for you....
I never planned to be this far. I never expected to get involved this deep, and I never have an idea at all to be able to had you.
As a human being I would do my best to be look good and nice for my life, yet I can't ignore that my feeling will took me over sometimes.
My life was really tough in word of its meant. I was built for and I am ready for the most hard ones even sometimes I am too naive to admit it myself. I am proud to be myself, with all the things on me. Including of what I have deal with it through of my life journey. I sad and happy, none will realize which one is my real identity as I can hide it well. And I get used for it years already
Like a fairy tale, that why this place built for;
as once upon a time something happened on me,it was the sweetest thing that it could ever be..
a fantasy of a dream come true, was the day when I found you.
Person who made me smile with no reason, and whom I can't hide myself.
Like the morning Dew, I appreciated and feel the grace of each breathe I could have now.
I just could be myself during the time, the moment that unforgettable and the distance failed to stop it. I even cried couple of times too...like now.
We had a fun times, tricky ways to say, and tears.
It is a fairy tale I had, and even it was only a tale to tell
I never get bored to remember it or even to write it down on my diary like the way I tell you now. It has changed my life, my everything..in a good way....
It has scratched me nicely .... like the marble.....
Thank you for coming to my life, and thank you for making me this feel...
I bend down to say with all my heart.....
My gratitude for you....
Still the one
I know how you feel now, as I feel the same.
I have no meant to break any of your trust
Please know that I would never regret to meet you, or feel sorry to be with...
Still fresh on my mind, picturing you walked from point to point, standing there; talked with the voice I missed most...while having the cup on your hand...
Still shivering me the way I had you, I could still feel it ..the warmth, the smell, the closeness...I will never forget that, I kept it as my sweet fate and secret for my life...ever.
I begged HIS mercy for me...to mistake I did...for getting involved and loving you.....
I asked HIS mercy for taking you care always well out there...
No matter what you are going to say....or others will say....I do believe myself to keep it still on....of my dreams and my trust of you.
I know impossible to have you in the moment, but I believe I have you as part of my heart.
Enough for me to love you till the end...
none will know the misery I have, if only I could turned the clock back.....
I have no meant to break any of your trust
Please know that I would never regret to meet you, or feel sorry to be with...
Still fresh on my mind, picturing you walked from point to point, standing there; talked with the voice I missed most...while having the cup on your hand...
Still shivering me the way I had you, I could still feel it ..the warmth, the smell, the closeness...I will never forget that, I kept it as my sweet fate and secret for my life...ever.
I begged HIS mercy for me...to mistake I did...for getting involved and loving you.....
I asked HIS mercy for taking you care always well out there...
No matter what you are going to say....or others will say....I do believe myself to keep it still on....of my dreams and my trust of you.
I know impossible to have you in the moment, but I believe I have you as part of my heart.
Enough for me to love you till the end...
none will know the misery I have, if only I could turned the clock back.....
my deeply regret.....
It's never been so easy.....
gosh, the words....the statement I got today. It does cornered me, spechless and helplessly. What did exactly am I doing here? How could I do that to a nice person whom I should respect to.
Him, to whom I lay my trust and other wing I have.
Him, where I learnt lots to improve myself better than ever.
Him, in which posibility of imponderable.
My deepest apology for causing you that way. I bend down as deep as I could to respect you as you deserved.
Like weather turns from soft warm breeze to freezing rain,
bringing me down to my knees,the lasts rolling down like autumn leaves...
not daring to make a sound, pain, sorrow and confussion seems like surrounded...
I will hold it true, with the most sorrow ever felt...
better to have loved and lost......and hold the memories for ache....
You showed and made me happy, knowing that you will be on live
is finally letting me heal....
I am blessed by an angel, and the angel is YOU
I want YOU to know, that you are my dream come true....
gosh, the words....the statement I got today. It does cornered me, spechless and helplessly. What did exactly am I doing here? How could I do that to a nice person whom I should respect to.
Him, to whom I lay my trust and other wing I have.
Him, where I learnt lots to improve myself better than ever.
Him, in which posibility of imponderable.
My deepest apology for causing you that way. I bend down as deep as I could to respect you as you deserved.
Like weather turns from soft warm breeze to freezing rain,
bringing me down to my knees,the lasts rolling down like autumn leaves...
not daring to make a sound, pain, sorrow and confussion seems like surrounded...
I will hold it true, with the most sorrow ever felt...
better to have loved and lost......and hold the memories for ache....
You showed and made me happy, knowing that you will be on live
is finally letting me heal....
I am blessed by an angel, and the angel is YOU
I want YOU to know, that you are my dream come true....
The Confession
An empty street with an empty house
does an angel will contemplate my fate
for the places where we go
will be a hole in my heart as the room getting smaller
If the road ahead will not be easy
wish the love we have had be the guiding star
to take us wherever we want to go,and
I'll be there where you need me
I have picked up my destiny
to fulfill my journey, the fate is on the wind
as I found a dream to must come true
for each ounce of myself to see it through
for you are only
Don't change any of yours
I asked no more than you have offered
to keep the memory of you and me, and
to not to say good bye...
does an angel will contemplate my fate
for the places where we go
will be a hole in my heart as the room getting smaller
If the road ahead will not be easy
wish the love we have had be the guiding star
to take us wherever we want to go,and
I'll be there where you need me
I have picked up my destiny
to fulfill my journey, the fate is on the wind
as I found a dream to must come true
for each ounce of myself to see it through
for you are only
Don't change any of yours
I asked no more than you have offered
to keep the memory of you and me, and
to not to say good bye...
What I have in my mind...
I was sitting on my chair, looking from a distance for something I am not really sure I looked for. This time will take a bit longer than usually I do have; for some reasons and as I wanted to.
Every day I go to work, I will always take the same road; with the same speed and with almost the same crowd. I can even ride with my closing eyes perhaps; as I knew when I need to stop, to turn and to go straight on a big intersection I met.Those what my daily trip to go to work and back home. A routine part of my daily activities besides, wake up, go to the mirror, tied my hair up, having my shower then dress up.
Mostly now, YOU take my point of view, way of my thinking and coming as a slide show while I am alone. And strange for me...I did enjoy it. And even I could make up some imagination of its. Wondering that it could be happened, or even worst than what will happenned. I laughed myself when it comes to that end; funny? Well, I guess it is not funny at all...as I am playing the real fire now...not as a fix layer on screen of a movie. This one is for real..or if I may say..almost real...So, I laughed on my silly imagination, eventough I enjoyed.
Where I learn many things and explore a new thing of my life story that I will not regret to know such a person like YOU.
And to be honest, it took over my control of myself. Me; myself still figure out at how deep it get into my life, and Do I really meant on it? Do I brave enough to face it when it comes? Would I be dare enough to shake or even to touch?
No.., no..,no.........I will DO IT...trust me!!!...As ITS ME...and it related to US....
Every day I go to work, I will always take the same road; with the same speed and with almost the same crowd. I can even ride with my closing eyes perhaps; as I knew when I need to stop, to turn and to go straight on a big intersection I met.Those what my daily trip to go to work and back home. A routine part of my daily activities besides, wake up, go to the mirror, tied my hair up, having my shower then dress up.
Mostly now, YOU take my point of view, way of my thinking and coming as a slide show while I am alone. And strange for me...I did enjoy it. And even I could make up some imagination of its. Wondering that it could be happened, or even worst than what will happenned. I laughed myself when it comes to that end; funny? Well, I guess it is not funny at all...as I am playing the real fire now...not as a fix layer on screen of a movie. This one is for real..or if I may say..almost real...So, I laughed on my silly imagination, eventough I enjoyed.
Where I learn many things and explore a new thing of my life story that I will not regret to know such a person like YOU.
And to be honest, it took over my control of myself. Me; myself still figure out at how deep it get into my life, and Do I really meant on it? Do I brave enough to face it when it comes? Would I be dare enough to shake or even to touch?
No.., no..,no.........I will DO IT...trust me!!!...As ITS ME...and it related to US....
My Thought of YOU
Night after night, I went thoroughly
Could not explain well, of what I have inside
To understand the feeling, that I can't ask you to do
The sadness for not being near to prove its real,
The happiness to know that one day will be shared.
Were you with me tonight? Could you feel me tonight?
Will you cares me with open arms?or will you hide me away in fear?
The love I wait is a lifetime for, so strong nothing to stop for being there
If I whispered I love you, what will you say?
What price would that be, none could figure out
As it priceless and nothing physically
Could not explain well, of what I have inside
To understand the feeling, that I can't ask you to do
The sadness for not being near to prove its real,
The happiness to know that one day will be shared.
Were you with me tonight? Could you feel me tonight?
Will you cares me with open arms?or will you hide me away in fear?
The love I wait is a lifetime for, so strong nothing to stop for being there
If I whispered I love you, what will you say?
What price would that be, none could figure out
As it priceless and nothing physically
Hitamku by Andra & The Backbone
Masih Adakah Separuh Hatiku
Yang Ku Berikan Hanya Untukmu
Ku Harap Engkau Masih Menyimpannya
Jangan Kau Pernah Melupakannya
Maafkan Kata Yang Tlah Terucap
Akan Kuhapus Jika Ku Mampu
Andai Ku Dapat Meyakinkanmu
Ku Hapus Hitamku
Masih Adakah Separuh Janjiku
Yang Kubisikkan Hanya Padamu
Ku Harap Engkau Masih Mengingatnya
Jangan Kau Pernah Melupakannya
Andai Ku Dapat Memutar Waktu
Semuanya Takkan Terjadi
Maafkan Kata Yang Tlah Terucap
Akan Kuhapus Jika Ku Mampu
Andai Ku Dapat Meyakinkanmu
Ku Hapus Hitamku Untukmu
Simpan Separuh Hatiku
Ku Hapus Hitamku Untukmu
Simpan Separuh Janjiku
Ku Hapus Hitamku Untukmu
Simpan Separuh Hatiku
Simpan Separuh Janjiku
Simpan Separuh Hatiku
Simpan Separuh Janjiku
Sound I missed
i listen to low tide
hoping to hear your breath
but its softens drowns
in the warning cry of a starboar buoy
learching on the bars of waves
strecheted across the sound
it breaks damp white hem
pillowed by the rocks
echoes the whisper of my voice
saying your name....
When I went to the hill to check the land that day....I was whispering this to the ocean down there...and seeing the waves dump to the rocks; exactly of what I feel that time and now.
As said, words is limited to say and hope never be ended to stay.
I am so blessed for having you in my life, thank you;
hoping to hear your breath
but its softens drowns
in the warning cry of a starboar buoy
learching on the bars of waves
strecheted across the sound
it breaks damp white hem
pillowed by the rocks
echoes the whisper of my voice
saying your name....
When I went to the hill to check the land that day....I was whispering this to the ocean down there...and seeing the waves dump to the rocks; exactly of what I feel that time and now.
As said, words is limited to say and hope never be ended to stay.
I am so blessed for having you in my life, thank you;
The chance I took...
So many stars as the quests I have
about us
Remembered you said
let it flow and as it will find the way to grow
When it comes to be
goes down so deep
like the river
finding the way to join the sea
What I feel for you
each and everyday
Like a dove
with sweetest mail from you
I love you with all my heart, and the way I keep my love to you. I poured the soul into you right from the very start. It is all about you; like the song will on and on.
Thank you for showing and giving the chance to feel the warmth and honest of you.
So, remember this; when your eyes meet mine.
about us
Remembered you said
let it flow and as it will find the way to grow
When it comes to be
goes down so deep
like the river
finding the way to join the sea
What I feel for you
each and everyday
Like a dove
with sweetest mail from you
I love you with all my heart, and the way I keep my love to you. I poured the soul into you right from the very start. It is all about you; like the song will on and on.
Thank you for showing and giving the chance to feel the warmth and honest of you.
So, remember this; when your eyes meet mine.
UNTITLED
The road to today was paved with dreams
That slowly got ground to dust
And I've walked that road and carried my load
And tried very hard to adjust
How did this miracle happen
That we're so very blessed,
So close for more contented,
Than I ever would have guessed
My mind realizes your wonderfulness,
but my tongue might fail to tell you
In case there is any doubt
about what I am thinking and feeling,
I am writing it down for you
Each step made me stronger; each test made me wiser,
So on my long walk, I grew,
Till the time was right one magical night,
For the road to make room for two.
That slowly got ground to dust
And I've walked that road and carried my load
And tried very hard to adjust
How did this miracle happen
That we're so very blessed,
So close for more contented,
Than I ever would have guessed
My mind realizes your wonderfulness,
but my tongue might fail to tell you
In case there is any doubt
about what I am thinking and feeling,
I am writing it down for you
Each step made me stronger; each test made me wiser,
So on my long walk, I grew,
Till the time was right one magical night,
For the road to make room for two.
My Point STARS
I was up late one night thinking about you and the things I love and decided to write it down.But the pen seems do not want to write, just strays for the lines. I let it do,whatever it will be...till this page is covered with stars...
Wondering what is he thinking, hurts as I'm waiting. The feeling missing him everyday, what pain strikes me in every way?? and I just keep on thinking and believing;days and months had already passed. And nothing had changed as my heart still does.
For long and pain made tears flow like never ending rain.
I want to fly up there to touch you, but I miss my other wings as I fell down.
Each night I passed; I will wish upon a star, for my heart not to fail of who you are.
Why can't this fairytales happen? Why do we fall in love?And where the line drawn?
Longing of holding and touch you, wishing you wished for me, for the next time to see and kiss you;that will be along way away....
Pain,long and love collide to each passing day;strugles to every beat on closer the pain; Am I cursed to a forbidden love...???
I will wait here, of a sign that eventually will come and leave me never again.
How shall I really feel? As it stealed off me. The letters,short stories you dedicated to me,I love it. The news and activites you told me, I love it.
The way you support me, the way you listen to my problems and telling me that everything will be just fine,I love it.
How calm and wise you showed me and how you think that I'm strong too, I love it.
A way to call me just to know how was I going for the day, the nickname you call me, I just love it. That none will ever compare to me, I love it too.
The sweet dreams you told me, the new things you opened me up to, how shall I not love it?
As I can talk to you about any and everything and you love me with all of your heart, and I can be as I am with you.
Honey,if I continue this, it will be too long to read...and more pain can't be explained....
"till the angels close my eyes honey, can't imagine seeing life without you here..."*************************************************************************************
Wondering what is he thinking, hurts as I'm waiting. The feeling missing him everyday, what pain strikes me in every way?? and I just keep on thinking and believing;days and months had already passed. And nothing had changed as my heart still does.
For long and pain made tears flow like never ending rain.
I want to fly up there to touch you, but I miss my other wings as I fell down.
Each night I passed; I will wish upon a star, for my heart not to fail of who you are.
Why can't this fairytales happen? Why do we fall in love?And where the line drawn?
Longing of holding and touch you, wishing you wished for me, for the next time to see and kiss you;that will be along way away....
Pain,long and love collide to each passing day;strugles to every beat on closer the pain; Am I cursed to a forbidden love...???
I will wait here, of a sign that eventually will come and leave me never again.
How shall I really feel? As it stealed off me. The letters,short stories you dedicated to me,I love it. The news and activites you told me, I love it.
The way you support me, the way you listen to my problems and telling me that everything will be just fine,I love it.
How calm and wise you showed me and how you think that I'm strong too, I love it.
A way to call me just to know how was I going for the day, the nickname you call me, I just love it. That none will ever compare to me, I love it too.
The sweet dreams you told me, the new things you opened me up to, how shall I not love it?
As I can talk to you about any and everything and you love me with all of your heart, and I can be as I am with you.
Honey,if I continue this, it will be too long to read...and more pain can't be explained....
"till the angels close my eyes honey, can't imagine seeing life without you here..."*************************************************************************************
My Season's Greeting
The autumn air is clear
The autumn moon is bright
Fallen leaves gather and scatter
The jackdaw perches and starts a new
We think of each other- when will we meet
This hour, this night, my feelings are hard
"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard,
but must be felt with the heart."
Life is kind of like the ocean,
You can see how it starts, but not the way it ends.
So lets just take things as they come to us,
And be happy we're best friends.
May we always be able to put a smile on each others face,
And a twinkle in our eyes.
And let us never forget all the good times,
Like watching shooting stars fall from the skies.
They make us stronger,
As they bring us closer together.
They always make our days brighter,
No matter the weather.
Hi Dew, the morning I saw you on my rose's leaves. It has been great of blessings I ever had to be able to see you and touch you.
Whom I asked to keep my part; I wish all the best for your season's of life no matter how will the weather be there, always know that I will be here for you.
Je t'aime mon cherie
The autumn moon is bright
Fallen leaves gather and scatter
The jackdaw perches and starts a new
We think of each other- when will we meet
This hour, this night, my feelings are hard
"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard,
but must be felt with the heart."
Life is kind of like the ocean,
You can see how it starts, but not the way it ends.
So lets just take things as they come to us,
And be happy we're best friends.
May we always be able to put a smile on each others face,
And a twinkle in our eyes.
And let us never forget all the good times,
Like watching shooting stars fall from the skies.
They make us stronger,
As they bring us closer together.
They always make our days brighter,
No matter the weather.
Hi Dew, the morning I saw you on my rose's leaves. It has been great of blessings I ever had to be able to see you and touch you.
Whom I asked to keep my part; I wish all the best for your season's of life no matter how will the weather be there, always know that I will be here for you.
Je t'aime mon cherie
May I choose?
"Hi Aunts, how are you all?"I greet them politely. They were three, I missed one...they should be four;where was he?and there he was..my hansome and cute uncle. Yes, they are four now in total....just arrived from State to have a family visit in Indonesia.
"What a 'princess' we have now, she is not a little girl anymore. Look at you, you are a mother, oh I miss that....you should tell me if you are no longer available" said one of my aunt whispered on me. "I was hoping to take you to State to be my daughter, guess I have to forget it now."
I just smile and introducing my husband to all of them. Do I miss them?Not really, as hardly for me to remember when was the last time I met them;maybe I was 5 or 4.
'So, Aunt, tell me what will going to be the mission this time, as I could see that all of you gathering for a vacation? Don't tell me that you were on vacation." I looked at one of my aunt. She was smiling and let my uncle answering my question.
"Well, firstly yes, its true we are here for a vacation; but special vacation." he said with misterious smile to my mother.
Thats the first meeting to my other part of big family we have after being separated 20 -30 years. The are staying in State and very succesful also busy doctors and nurse in a big hospital in CA. Thats why, I wonder how and why they could come in a time together on a special vacation they said? What it would be?
A Family Tree, I got the word from one of my aunts. What for? We have one already. In fact, its different with the one I got. The one they did this time bigger and out of my mind to think of. They were visiting some places in outside of Java and Bali after the meeting a few weeks ago and now they're back here to spend some more days with us before flying back to State.
"This is our new Family Tree, my dear. And you are written there with your husband's name also your son's (that time I had my first)."
This is the most important from the special vacation your uncle said few weeks ago".
"What is this Aunt? I don't get it, sorry" I said as confiused looking onto a big paper size on both hand I can't pull it out with many of small squares and names there.
Took me about 15 to 20 minutes to figure out and understood by nodded certain times on her explaination.Oh my God! Am I dreaming or this is a joke????
I don't know what to say, happy or sad??To be honest, I was stunned for a while till my husband clapped on me.
I just can't believed on what I have heard from her. She is the best nurse at the CA hospital, she must not kidding me for sure. But still, weird for me to get known of this thing. Actually I have heard a similar story from my mother since I was a child and when I was teenage, but I never listen as I was thinking she told me a fairy tale. And now, in front of me I could see and heard by myself from them about what I used to think as a fairy tale.
The history is back! Thats what they called me, as I got married to a guy whose brought me back to the line of the royal history. What a destiny. And when he heard that, he said that I should be proud of its as its true, not a fairy tale anymore.
I am the princess....of a huge kingdom used to be in one part of big island in Indonesia.Oh boy, I was laughed on myself; am I really a princess??
I thank God for putting me as a member of a big family and belong to a huge 'Royal Family Tree' with all the things I have got in. Regarding the Princess...., I will let time to tell and decide if I am the real Princess...on a fairy tale??? You bet!
"What a 'princess' we have now, she is not a little girl anymore. Look at you, you are a mother, oh I miss that....you should tell me if you are no longer available" said one of my aunt whispered on me. "I was hoping to take you to State to be my daughter, guess I have to forget it now."
I just smile and introducing my husband to all of them. Do I miss them?Not really, as hardly for me to remember when was the last time I met them;maybe I was 5 or 4.
'So, Aunt, tell me what will going to be the mission this time, as I could see that all of you gathering for a vacation? Don't tell me that you were on vacation." I looked at one of my aunt. She was smiling and let my uncle answering my question.
"Well, firstly yes, its true we are here for a vacation; but special vacation." he said with misterious smile to my mother.
Thats the first meeting to my other part of big family we have after being separated 20 -30 years. The are staying in State and very succesful also busy doctors and nurse in a big hospital in CA. Thats why, I wonder how and why they could come in a time together on a special vacation they said? What it would be?
A Family Tree, I got the word from one of my aunts. What for? We have one already. In fact, its different with the one I got. The one they did this time bigger and out of my mind to think of. They were visiting some places in outside of Java and Bali after the meeting a few weeks ago and now they're back here to spend some more days with us before flying back to State.
"This is our new Family Tree, my dear. And you are written there with your husband's name also your son's (that time I had my first)."
This is the most important from the special vacation your uncle said few weeks ago".
"What is this Aunt? I don't get it, sorry" I said as confiused looking onto a big paper size on both hand I can't pull it out with many of small squares and names there.
Took me about 15 to 20 minutes to figure out and understood by nodded certain times on her explaination.Oh my God! Am I dreaming or this is a joke????
I don't know what to say, happy or sad??To be honest, I was stunned for a while till my husband clapped on me.
I just can't believed on what I have heard from her. She is the best nurse at the CA hospital, she must not kidding me for sure. But still, weird for me to get known of this thing. Actually I have heard a similar story from my mother since I was a child and when I was teenage, but I never listen as I was thinking she told me a fairy tale. And now, in front of me I could see and heard by myself from them about what I used to think as a fairy tale.
The history is back! Thats what they called me, as I got married to a guy whose brought me back to the line of the royal history. What a destiny. And when he heard that, he said that I should be proud of its as its true, not a fairy tale anymore.
I am the princess....of a huge kingdom used to be in one part of big island in Indonesia.Oh boy, I was laughed on myself; am I really a princess??
I thank God for putting me as a member of a big family and belong to a huge 'Royal Family Tree' with all the things I have got in. Regarding the Princess...., I will let time to tell and decide if I am the real Princess...on a fairy tale??? You bet!
Sorry, I lie ...
You were sounding fine to me today, I was so glad to know it. And you start to tell me about your new place where you help them for the next two months.
Remember I ask you to re-consider regarding the offer?You are deserved as I know you are the best person who could handle it. The facilities is a nice way of them to show you how much you are appreciated; and they are right this time. You will have a bright future life on top of its, trust me.
That choice will be another story of your life which will give you a new way of a better life and learning process. Taking the chance means that you will have to move out. That is good for you and them. Staying close by to your hometown, easy to visit your lovely sisters there so they wont miss you anymore. And for the prince and princess; I am sure they would love it to move out as they will learn something new and fresh which is good for them. And they could stay close to the big family where they belong to.
About me???Well, I don't know still why did I ask you to do that?Maybe as I want you to be stronger than usual or maybe as I want you to be happy...
The night after that conversation, I was trying to figure out the answer.I failed with the tears, sorry honey...I lie to you..I am not strong and taugh....and I am selfish...I don't want you to move out there....and I know it is impossible for me to say and keep saying it. I know the situation and I am too stupid to let you know that I am just fine which I AM NOT.
Shall I explain this to you?Better not to, as it will be ruining everything.I don't want that happened. I will keep my dream and my hope for myself. I don't want you to worry about it. I thought I will be 'just fine' without you, and if you moved out it will be 'more than just fine'..
I hope if there is a chance to see you, I want to see you in a year or two...not now...
Remember I ask you to re-consider regarding the offer?You are deserved as I know you are the best person who could handle it. The facilities is a nice way of them to show you how much you are appreciated; and they are right this time. You will have a bright future life on top of its, trust me.
That choice will be another story of your life which will give you a new way of a better life and learning process. Taking the chance means that you will have to move out. That is good for you and them. Staying close by to your hometown, easy to visit your lovely sisters there so they wont miss you anymore. And for the prince and princess; I am sure they would love it to move out as they will learn something new and fresh which is good for them. And they could stay close to the big family where they belong to.
About me???Well, I don't know still why did I ask you to do that?Maybe as I want you to be stronger than usual or maybe as I want you to be happy...
The night after that conversation, I was trying to figure out the answer.I failed with the tears, sorry honey...I lie to you..I am not strong and taugh....and I am selfish...I don't want you to move out there....and I know it is impossible for me to say and keep saying it. I know the situation and I am too stupid to let you know that I am just fine which I AM NOT.
Shall I explain this to you?Better not to, as it will be ruining everything.I don't want that happened. I will keep my dream and my hope for myself. I don't want you to worry about it. I thought I will be 'just fine' without you, and if you moved out it will be 'more than just fine'..
I hope if there is a chance to see you, I want to see you in a year or two...not now...
My Fairy Tale Song
If our love was a fairy tale, I would like you to be charged in and rescue me on a high mountain there far away. Into an island where we’d say I do.
You leave me breathless and everything good in my life, and you just walked out of one of my dreams so beautiful you’re leaving me
And if our love was a story book, we would meet on the very first page and the last chapter would be about; How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made
You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me, you’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me, you’re something special
I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
But all I can do is try, every day of my life
I will never regret you, still the memory of you will marks everything I do
I need no worry what I have done as nothing is broken, still the same like the last one
You will still be a part of everything I do, and you will be always there like a tattoo
I keep my hand in the fire, sooner or later I know that I will get of what I am asking for
No matter what you will say about life or love, the truth is a stranger where the soul is in danger
To admit that I was wrong and change my mind, Sorry;You don’t even know how very special you are
You leave me breathless and everything good in my life, and you just walked out of one of my dreams so beautiful you’re leaving me
And if our love was a story book, we would meet on the very first page and the last chapter would be about; How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made
You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me, you’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me, you’re something special
I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
But all I can do is try, every day of my life
I will never regret you, still the memory of you will marks everything I do
I need no worry what I have done as nothing is broken, still the same like the last one
You will still be a part of everything I do, and you will be always there like a tattoo
I keep my hand in the fire, sooner or later I know that I will get of what I am asking for
No matter what you will say about life or love, the truth is a stranger where the soul is in danger
To admit that I was wrong and change my mind, Sorry;You don’t even know how very special you are
How Can I Not Love You
By JOY ENRIQUEZ
Cannot touch,Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not sayWhat we no longer long
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer long
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love youWhen you are gone
The awesome performance of Joy finally helps me to express and brought me closure of the emotions I have and feel which I could not explain in to words.
Honey, wherever you are now... I want you to know.... that the feeling is still there... the other part is still missing.... and I want my watermelon's back....if I still have the chance and time...
Cannot touch,Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not sayWhat we no longer long
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer long
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love youWhen you are gone
The awesome performance of Joy finally helps me to express and brought me closure of the emotions I have and feel which I could not explain in to words.
Honey, wherever you are now... I want you to know.... that the feeling is still there... the other part is still missing.... and I want my watermelon's back....if I still have the chance and time...
"The KING and I"
I am a kind of person who is learning of something by doing or sharing with others...As I believed it works out much better than to study it ...
When I was at college, I learned more my Major from songs and movies besides the books and tasks..including the cartoon ones. My Aussie friend told me once that I could improve myself and my Major more from those things. I do agree and I owe him 'a thank you';I wish I could still meet him which I don't know where is he now and how to find him.
One of the movie I like most till now is "The KING and I". Its made on 1956, a classical movie on my point of view. Simple and very touching on each moments from start till the end. I saw it twice, and the last one I saw the new version of its.
Mrs. Anna Leonowens and her son Louis arrive in Bangkok, where she has contracted to teach English to the children of the royal household. She threatens to leave when the house she had been promised is not available, but falls in love with the children. A new slave, a gift of a vassal king, translates "Uncle Tom's Cabin" into a Siamese ballet, expressing her unhappiness at being with the King. She attempts to escape with her lover. Anna and the King fall in love, but her British upbringing inhibits her from joining his harem. She is just about to leave Siam when she hears of the King's imminent death, and returns to help his son, her favorite pupil, rule his people.
That's about the plot they have of the movie about. I watched the movie and took it as a part of my life education about love and sharing of what I known. And this I wanna share with you as I hope you will have or learned something from my writing.It could be everything, loving to someone doesn't always meant to be marry or passion. As a human, we have to share the world, can't live in by our own moreover to stay alone...Impossible and selfish.
The movie tells me how a person with his/her differences of background and way of think also the social level they have...its just over a barrel of one word....LOVE...
And how they managed themselves in an adult way to show how much the love they have in between with the agony they have to struggle.
The day when I wrote this story down, I was struggling to something which getting domineer of myself, my life. Still I took it as a bless for me to be able to help and share with others about my experiences and my knowledge. I always try to look on each moments of my life in a positive way and grate it as a bless of HIM for me. Means that He still look after me...guided me,assists me..and love me in His own way to Tell's.
Me? I am so lucky...I could still see the dew drops on my rose's leaves in the morning in front of my house, breathing the fresh air and feel the warmth of someone who loves me without counting the days or time. Accepting and loving me with all his heart without demanding of anything..
Wherever you are now.. I know and you are always there holding the missing part of me carefully. Where I believed that time will give me the answer and chance to say it so ...
Je t'aime
When I was at college, I learned more my Major from songs and movies besides the books and tasks..including the cartoon ones. My Aussie friend told me once that I could improve myself and my Major more from those things. I do agree and I owe him 'a thank you';I wish I could still meet him which I don't know where is he now and how to find him.
One of the movie I like most till now is "The KING and I". Its made on 1956, a classical movie on my point of view. Simple and very touching on each moments from start till the end. I saw it twice, and the last one I saw the new version of its.
Mrs. Anna Leonowens and her son Louis arrive in Bangkok, where she has contracted to teach English to the children of the royal household. She threatens to leave when the house she had been promised is not available, but falls in love with the children. A new slave, a gift of a vassal king, translates "Uncle Tom's Cabin" into a Siamese ballet, expressing her unhappiness at being with the King. She attempts to escape with her lover. Anna and the King fall in love, but her British upbringing inhibits her from joining his harem. She is just about to leave Siam when she hears of the King's imminent death, and returns to help his son, her favorite pupil, rule his people.
That's about the plot they have of the movie about. I watched the movie and took it as a part of my life education about love and sharing of what I known. And this I wanna share with you as I hope you will have or learned something from my writing.It could be everything, loving to someone doesn't always meant to be marry or passion. As a human, we have to share the world, can't live in by our own moreover to stay alone...Impossible and selfish.
The movie tells me how a person with his/her differences of background and way of think also the social level they have...its just over a barrel of one word....LOVE...
And how they managed themselves in an adult way to show how much the love they have in between with the agony they have to struggle.
The day when I wrote this story down, I was struggling to something which getting domineer of myself, my life. Still I took it as a bless for me to be able to help and share with others about my experiences and my knowledge. I always try to look on each moments of my life in a positive way and grate it as a bless of HIM for me. Means that He still look after me...guided me,assists me..and love me in His own way to Tell's.
Me? I am so lucky...I could still see the dew drops on my rose's leaves in the morning in front of my house, breathing the fresh air and feel the warmth of someone who loves me without counting the days or time. Accepting and loving me with all his heart without demanding of anything..
Wherever you are now.. I know and you are always there holding the missing part of me carefully. Where I believed that time will give me the answer and chance to say it so ...
Je t'aime
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)